Grace

 My daughter Grace,was born on my own birthday in September. I was ecstatic.somehow due to the pain and excitement l could not sleep; yet it is expected that a mother fresh out of labour, must sleep so as to recover from pain and exhaustion.

Soon after giving birth and receiving my child to feed,l slept a little less than an hour, Then l woke up.I could not keep my eyes off of her. I gazed and gazed at 'this wonder,this perfection.' It was a miracle. So l was now a mother! Heavens gracious. It was a miracle, a pure and plain miracle.She was beautiful.

Her complexion was extra light compared to my first born, her brother. She was tiny. So tiny l was afraid l would break her limbs if l touched her wrong.l was extra careful when l lifted her from the bed. Such a fragile,frail miracle. She was mine still and l was happy.

At 2600g she looked a little too small compared to her brother who was born at 4200g. He had looked like a two weeks old baby at birth. Yet Grace looked like she needed another month in the womb.But oh well she had escaped the womb in favour of sunshine. 

As l fed her, she pulled so fervently and cried even when the breast was firmly in her mouth. There was less milk than was needed. I was sure about it. She would stay on the breast for an hour sucking non stop. She was really trying to get satiated and it was not happening. That was the first day. Grace was born in the morning you see. At around 9 am. So we spent the day and night under observation at the hospital. 

We did not sleep that night. She would not let the breast go. She would only stop sucking when she fell asleep and that was not for long. Soon she would be startled by my movement and she would wake up and start feeding again with much force as before. We mostly spent the night awake and l alerted one nurse the following morning and she examined my breast by pressing hard to see if there was an milk coming out. There was evidence of milk and she said it was normal for the baby to feel like it was not getting enough,the output would increase with time.

The story was different with me. The milk output continued To be erratic and baby Grace continued to feed every hour for 1 hour or forty five minutes or even an hour and half refusing to stop sucking. Even l myself felt pain in the breast and even in my heart. I felt there was so much pressure on my heart. As if she was giving at my heart while she fed. Since the nurse said things would change , l kept waiting for that change.

Change did not come instead. Grace stated moaning whenever l lifted her from the bed. It was as if lifting her hurt her  somehow. Then one day her soft sport stopped moving. I wondered what it was, later on it started that up and down movement again. This happened repeatedly in the days that followed. 

Then she had a bout of high temperature with vomiting for 2 days. During which time she found it difficult to suck.After two days she resumed suckling and her temperature went back to normal. She started suckling again. However the sickness was not gone.lt had only registered its arrival.

She had developed manangitis and her blood count had significantly lowered. At six weeks she was admitted into hospital to get treatment for Jaundice, which she had developed at age four- five weeks. That was when all hell broke loose. She started showing signs of heamolitic anaemia. The doctor said baby had been ill long before admission into hospital. I agreed to the diagnosis because baby had been groaning as if going through some kind of pain each time l lifted her up.

There was Manangitis, a posbility of heamolitic anaemia, a possibility of hepatitis and she had Jaundice."A  complex case" that was how the doctors called her sickness. In the end she was treated for Manangitis and Jaundice after all forms of herpatitis had been tested for and found negative...to be continued...